Obama Gets $787 Billion Dollar Valentine's Day Card

Congratulations, President Obama. Here's you're Valentine's Day breakfast, with a big side of pork bacon. Mm-mm.

Nancy Pelosi gets to write her biggest check yet, which she was bubbling over about: "I never thought I'd see the day when we had an opportunity to do so much... so great... for the American people..." Pelosi also claims this bill has "unprecedented transparency," which is one of the bigger lies I've heard told about it. The entire way this bill was crafted was the absolute antithesis of Obama's ethics regulations, which along with new lobbyist rules, are starting to look like they apply to.... um, no one. I suppose the chances of this bill getting 5 days "sunlight before signing" are equally slim.